Back at it... more

The last post posted before I was fin

ished.. oops...

I suppose that I am just rambling anyway.. Just thinking... wondering..

My mind thinks of a song that Scott wrote right before he died. "In the Darkness". He taled about how he prayed and thought about how it would be inthe darkness of his room at night. I so relate.

So many things I want and need to do. And so many times I wonder why? Does it matter?

I am so lonley. Even in a group I am lonley. It is so hard to explain. Everyone tells me to call someone else. To talk to people. Everyone says the same thing.. "you sound good". They don't know what to say.. I know...
So I just don't talk........

I just want everyone to know how much they mean to me,, how much I will miss them. I know where Im going will be so much better but the thought of leaving those I love is hard. I know everyone has a life and they can't (nor do I want them to) put a hold on things for me.. but sometimes............ I just want to scream hellooooooooooo we MIGHT NOT have tomorrow........PLEASE talk to me!!

Normal but not normal thats how I want it. So hard to explain.......... I love you all If I foget to do or say something I should have.. Please forgive me.......